The Hot Shot Answer
Podcast Host: Travis Norris
Ep. 59 Twelve Stages of Burnout
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Welcome to The Hot Shot Answer. I'm your host Travis Norris, also known as The Hot Shot Fellow. It is my passion to bring you the answers that we all desperately need, that we seek out, and we don’t know quite where to go to to get a true answer or to change our mindset. A lot of times our mindset points us in the wrong direction of where we ultimately want to go. Here at The Hot Shot Answer, I will bring you those unbiased answers that we all desperately need. I don’t care if you’re young, if you’re married, if you’re an entrepreneur, I don’t care what position you are in life, we all need to change our mindset, we all can step up and be a better version of what we are today. My hope is that one day we can lead you to be a better version of yourself. Thank you for tuning in, let’s begin today’s discussion.
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Man, welcome back, what a nutso week we’ve had. That’s kind of typical in our world but we persevere and we push through and we make it happen. Last week we talked about, you know, being burned out and things that you can do to avoid burnout. So this week I really want to talk about the stages of burnout, because there’s different levels of burnout. There’s different levels and there's different signs and symptoms and things that you can see that you go through to that total complete burnout syndrome. And been there, done that. I’ve been through these stages so I want to share this with you guys, that way you can recognize in yourself and you can self-diagnose your own situation, to see what stage you’re in; if you are on track to do burnout and lose your love, passion for what it is your after.
So stage one is compulsion to prove oneself, excessive ambition. So, you're pushing so hard for what you’re wanting to be done to the utmost extreme. You know, obviously when you’re first starting out with something, then, you know, that’s going to be kind of natural to prove that you can do it. We talk about that why, on why we push so hard and why we do what we do, but as long as you can keep that in perspective and keep that under wraps and allow certain time frames. Only allow yourself to work certain hours or certain days of the week. You know, especially a lot of you guys that are trying to start a second career or start a business, you know, you’re still working a full-time job. Or you’re trying to start a second business, or a third business, or whatever the case is that you’re in, that compulsiveness that you can do it, that you’re trying to prove that you can do it, you might want to keep that under wraps and keep that into its own perspective and into its own time schedule and time block. You know, time block your times out to where, you know, you can accomplish everything you can, and then once that kicks off and that’s moving, then you can rework your times to where your day is accommodating everything. Still very hard to do, and it is very challenging to do. I’ve done this quite a bit.
Stage two is push to work harder. So, a lot of times people think the harder they get to work the more money they make, and this is true to a point, but at the same time there’s times when you push so hard or you work so hard and not get anywhere. And what it is is that your systems aren’t in place, you’re not streamlined your systems so you’re double working, and sometimes pushing to work harder is indirectly causing you to burn more energy, causing you to burn more resources, causing you to burn out and burn out of those resources. Because sometimes, the harder you work, if you don’t have those systems in place and you’ve not processed how you’re going to get to that point, you’ll end up spending more time, you’ll spend more money, you’ll spend more effort trying to get out of the hole. And if anybody's ever been stuck in the mud or, you know, stuck in snow or something like that, you’re just sitting there spinning your wheels. Sometimes you make the process harder and you make things worse than just stopping, reevaluating, putting in the little extra work to dig yourself out. There’s that time where, you know, not always hard work is always gonna pay off more.
Stage three is neglect to personal needs. I’m actually in this right now. I have had– you know, y’all know I’ve been sick a few weeks back. I’m just starting to kinda get my voice back a little bit, I still have a nasty cough that won't go away. But at the same time, I recently cut my arm; I was on a window install with my construction company and I slit my arm open pretty good and it definitely needed stitches, but I've not yet gone to the doctor for it. You know, I’m letting it kind of self-heal and, you know, so I’m neglecting that health. I’ve had a massive mass, I don’t know really what else to call it, come up above my left eyebrow and it has dropped down to my eyelid, it’s gone back up to my forehead, it’s dropped down to my upper cheek, it’s gone everywhere in the last three or four days, but I’m not taking the time to go to the doctor. I’m not taking the time to really evaluate it and find out what it is and what is causing it. Then sometimes it gets really hard, sometimes it gets really soft, so I don’t know; I don’t know what it is, but I have and I am neglecting my personal needs of, you know, personal care. This is one of the stages of burnout and the idea behind that is, in this stage that I’m currently in, we feel that we’re so busy and we feel that we have so much going on that it can’t be done without you and, in a sense it’s true. In my current situation, you know, I got installer that are sick, I’m down to a skeleton of a skeleton crew, so I’m having to, you know, kind of step up and step into different roles that I don’t normally fit in, that I don’t normally fulfill on a daily basis. So I’m having to wear multiple hats and, so therefore, I don't have the time. Now, could I reschedule and make the time? Absolutely, but that’s also on me of neglecting my part of leading me to burnout if I’m not careful.
Displacement of conflict. This is kind of weird. If you don’t address certain situations as they come to you, you know, when problems arise, your company problems arise, your family problems arise, and school and home life, you know, as these conflict come up, and as these debates come up, or issues come up, and I’m meaning by displacement of conflict, is if you don’t address them, and you kind of push them to the back burner and “they’re going to work out themselves; they’re going to go away, and out of sight out of mind they’ll go away and be forgotten about” when in all actuality, they don’t get forgotten about and they get to be bigger and bigger issues and bigger and bigger conflicts and you being at the helm of your own life, your own business, your own goals, then that adds nothing but more stress to you and more issues to you. You know, that leads to those restless nights, that leads to that restless leg syndrome where you can’t stop and you keep moving and your brain doesn't shut down to relax, recover and recoup for the next day. And these are those–those hidden demons that linger and you’re alw–then you become scared to answer the phone. Those bill collectors that, now you’re watching your phone, or you’re watching your email and you’re, you know, you’re not answering any phone call that comes across because you’re afraid it’s a bill collector, or you’re afraid it’s that costumer, or you’re afraid it’s that boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, or that ex-girlfriend. You’re afraid of what that conflict is and that leads to burnout because now, you just added more on your plate that, instead of taking the time to resolve it, it is now becoming a burden to you.
Stage five will be a revision of value system, self-worth based on the job. So the self worth based on the job is you feeling that you’re worth more than what you really are, or you didn’t get paid for what you should’ve gotten paid, or you feel that you overcharged, which has happened, I mean you do feel that way. There’s times that, you know, you do feel that, you know, you overcharged somebody and you start feeling guilty about it and then when you stop and realize everything that you actually had into it, it's actually a fair price. [Laughs] But, um, the revision of value system and, you real–you start making switch of, you know, fifty dollars not being a big bill, a hundred dollars not being a big bill and your value of money and your value of different things are shifting, and as this starts shifting, then you start shifting your focus to different things as well. So, you know, that dinner date, or that dinner with that client, or whatever that case is, doesn’t seem as daunting. Except for now, you’re not looking at the dollar amount as much, of what it’s costing you financially, but you’re looking at it as what it’s costing you verses your time and, you know, where your time is; your money or your time is, your value; that value that you’re looking for that you’re after starts to either increase or decrease depending on what it is that you’re after. You know, you guys heard me say it in the past, you know, my biggest value is my time; of me having the time to do what it is that I want to do, what I need to do, and as I see fit. So the money isn’t an issue to me. No, I'm not rich. No, I don’t have a whole lot of money, but I’m not after the money, I’m after the time. I’m after the legacy that I’m going to be able to leave to my boys, to where my boys can take it and run with it or, you know, whatever the case might be. So, the value system is going to be revised and when you get to that point, you’ve already kind of gotten to the point where you’re so in depth into the situation; you’re halfway there of being to a total burnout if you do not take the time to figure this out and see what you’re truly and ultimately after.
Denial of problems, uh, believe that others are lazy. This kind of goes back to that displacement of conflict, but, you realize and you kind of feel like you don’t have a problem. You end up believing that you don’t have problems and that you don’t have situations, or you don’t have– or all your problems are situations and you believe that others are lazy because they’re not putting in the effort that you put in, and you being a business owner, you having this goal and this dream and this vision that you’re going after, [raises voice] nobody is going to care about it as much as you. It’s just that simple. You know, your spouse isn’t going to care, your kids aren’t going to care, no one else but you is going to believe, no one else but you are going to put in the effort, and put in the hours, and put in the sweat, blood, sweat, tears, whatever you want to call it. Nobody else is going to do it. So, you wanna be careful about considering other people being lazy compared to what you’re willing to put into this, and what you’re willing to put into your life, your goals, your dreams. Right, if you want to be the best basketball player there is, you have to put in the effort, you have to be the one– be the best. Not me being the best coach, or me being, you know, your best supporter. It’s you putting in the work, putting in the best efforts for it, and dialing in those problems that you have, that you perceive that you don’t have.
Withdrawal of social situations. Oftentimes once you get past– when you get into this stage of denial of problems and you’re believing others are lazy, you tend not to want to be around other people, cause you perceive them as being lazy and you perceive them as not being on your level. Like I said before in the very beginning this is a hard hard self- diagnosis, but you perceive that you’re indirectly better than they are. So in this, you start to [baby cries] withdraw from social situations. Man, guys if y’all hear Alex in the background I’m sorry, I’m recording this at home. I don’t have a nice pretty studio office, so if you hear a baby crying in the background,that’s Alex, he just woke up from a nap and probably looking for something to eat. So, as you pull away from social events, as you pull away from social situations, people are going to start to start to notice obvious behavioral changes by others, they’re going to notice this and this is that fine line. This is where, you know, as you start making money; you’ve gotten into doing your businesses and you feel that you’ve become somebody or, you know, life as a whole has changed you, you’re wiser now, you’re smarter now, you feel accomplished at some point, or you feel that, you know, you’ve done what you said you’d do. You know, all these things that come into play and people are like, well you’ve changed, right, or you’re not who you used to be, or, you know, this, that, and the other and they could be referring to money being made, they could be referring to positions that you fill that you’re in now, or the positions you are in, you know, that you built a reputation in your industry or whatever the case is. They're going to say well you've changed, and this could be a good thing, but this is also could also be a relative to a bad thing and that you could perceive it as a bad thing. And, when there’s obvious behavioral changes, and what I’m referring to is this, is leading you down the road of depression, leading you down the road of anger, leading you down the road of a short fuse or short temper. [Baby cries] those are what I’m actually referring to in this, not– you’re more free with your money, you’re more free, you know, I’m not referring to that on this. This is more, because you are so stressed out, because you are so overwhelmed, because you have so much going on you take it out on other people, because you have the stresses that you’re not talking about from stage four, now you’re at stage eight and things have doubled down on you and you are [baby cries] more focused on those things and you’re not going after [baby cries] you know, having the simple conversation with your spouse, you're not having the simple conversation with your kids, you’re not having the simple conversation with your employees, you’re not being that guy or that girl that you should be because of all the pressure on you. This is a very very huge tell-telling sign that you are on the verge of burnout. This is–like I said, when people get to the point where they’re actually saying something like this to you, you know, “you’ve changed” then–and usually those people is going to be your wife, it’s going to be your kids it’s going to be your parents because they’re the ones that are gonna truly know you know to know that, you know, now you’re short tempered, now you’re, you know, you’re losing your cool you’re not able to maintain a level playing field. They’re going to be the ones that's going to call you out and they’re going to be the ones to recognize this before anybody else will and actually say something about it.
Then this will lead you into what I call stage nine; it’s loss of contact with self. So you’ve lost that person that you were; you’ve lost that you truly wanted to be and you’re allowing your company you’re allowing your dream, your\’re allowing your goals, you’re allowing all this stuff, that you desperately wanted, to control you and become the new you, so you've therefore lost contact with who you've truly wanted to be and who you’re truly after. This leads to inner emptiness that comes in when you realize that you’ve lost contact with yourself and you realize that you’ve gone through this and you’re like man, you know, I’m not happy with who I am and now the emptiness sets in and you feel like you’ve let people down, that you’re a disappointment, that, you know, you’re not being fulfilled, you know, money doesn’t mean anything–you know, to you or now the time is nothing, you know, because, you know, you’re able to do whatever it is that you want to do, you’re able to buy whatever it is you’re wanting to buy. That’s when that emptiness fills in. So what is it that truly gets you going? What’s that true thing that gets you to wake up every morning? And, you know, sometimes people think it’s money and I’m telling you right now, when you have it, it doesn;t make a difference. When you make a big big sale, that’s just another day. My wife is one of these, I can come in here and tell her I sold a storm door for a hundred and thirty bucks [baby cries] and turn right around and tell her I sold, you know, a thousand a windo–a thousand windows [baby cries] for five hundred six hundred thousand dollars and she’s still the same woman that she’s always been. She’s excited about [baby cries] the storm door as much as she’s excited about the thousand windows, you know, so she’s very very kill on that [baby cries] she don’t kill [baby cries]. Sorry y’all about Alex {baby cries] but, uh, this is life, business, and family. So, uh, this is my life trying to record a podcast and get through this and [baby cries] y’all listen to this–listen to that as much as I do [baby cries] so just bare with me. But as you are in this inner emptiness and it starts to set in and you know that you’re down and all that, at least the depression, depression starts setting in [baby cries] and when this starts happening, you are on the cusp of total burnout, because now you’re at stage twelve and in that to stage twelve you are completely mentally and physical collapse. You [baby cries] have no desire to work on your dreams, your goals [baby cries] your vision. You have no desire to do anything and that leads you to that burnout. You’ve already spent all your resources, you spent all your energy, you've spent everything you had, you’re down to your last dollar, you don't know what to do anymore, what are you gonna do? Are you going to give up on your dream or are you going to continue to persevere? Are you going to continue to push through or are you going to take what I’m telling you guys now; the things that I’ve lived, things I've done, things I’ve been through and I've done this time and time again. You’re going to get burned if you push at any real effort. [baby cries] But once you can recognize these stages, and when you can recognize how they intertwine with each other [baby cries] and you realize what season [baby cries] you are in, then you can help stop that season [baby cries] to lead you to burnout. [Laughs] He’s definitely looking for something to eat so, momma got him, but, uh, I’m going to go help mom; I’m going to go help Mrs. Jessica, uh, with Alex and I love y’all, chase your dreams chase your goals [baby cries] watch out for these burnout stages, and if [baby cries] you are in these burnout stages [baby cries] identify it and do what you have to do to fix it and that could prevent you from going to burnout stage. Love y’all, talk to y’all next week.
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I want to thank y’all for listening to my little spill here, and I want to thank y'all as well for the continued support. You can also find us on iTunes, Spotify, Pandora and we’re on everything.We do have it’s own facebook page; The Hot Shot Answer on Facebook, and we also are on Instagram. But, Dm us, tag us, and be sure to get this message out so we can continue to change peoples lives. Thank y’all and talk to you next week.
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